Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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