I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
