I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
