just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
