Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
