You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
