I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
