So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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