I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
After last night, I could never be a politician.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
