I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
where am i from again
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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