Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Sorry about my life...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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