her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
