wat bout pragnant strippers??
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
nutella sex= disaster
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
