you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize