wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
