I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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