Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize