the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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