Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
