I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Randomize
