Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
