Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
