But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you will always have a special place in my vag
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
