But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
