What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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