im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
