we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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