the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
