they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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