SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
