grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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