if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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