office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
