Got a toothbrush?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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