the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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