the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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