how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
