I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
