the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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