you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
