I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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