We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
