So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
