I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
