so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she smelled like a LAN party
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
