I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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