Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
