idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
