no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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