this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
