I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
