Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
