His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize