i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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