Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
