Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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