Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
