i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
