Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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