Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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