Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I can't turn off my feet"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
