he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
either way he was missing a nipple.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
