Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
