so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
