we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
