Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
