the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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