South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
