Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
