i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
